To make your prayer
do not come knowing
and what you know, forget.
What wants to find you waits at the door of mystery.
Carry your medicines, amulets, what you can offer
and what protects, keeps you close to the heat of love.
You do not need words, though you may work your throat
through song, through tears, until you find your thunder or quiet storm,
the animal noise your ancient wound, your bared wise self
has been calling for you to make.
Move your hands, your feet.
You have the altar of your body, and it was born for praise.
Be willing to get messy, wear the stain of effort, all the ways
you stumble, fall and rise up once again.
Trust — when you are at your weariest, bright eyes will warm you,
a voice will cry out, “Courage.”
You are always stronger than what the mind believes.
Listen, too, for each sound the Earth speaks, how she
has never stopped humming your name.
What will she send you to cradle you close to her bones?
Dream with tree and stone, wind and creek, the elders of great sky.
You are as alive as the company you keep.
Notice who else companions you.
Maybe moth, blue heron, bloodroot blessing or milkweed balm,
your ancestors’ pipe-blown breath.
They will come if you ask them, your beloved dead
and the beings who spark your soul.
Be honest in your expression.
Even if you come empty or with a tongue of ringing bells.
Let your heart lead.
Give it fire.
These are terrible times.
These are beautiful times.
You do not have to be the world at war, a churning fight with fear.
You are needed this soft, this open.
Human.
Walking with your prayer
until it ripens, fills you, becomes the way
that you live.
Summer Hearts starts July 1
One of the common refrains I hear in my grief coaching practice is “I don’t know how to grieve.” One might think we would all have some facility with this very human experience. But because grief is so suppressed in this culture, pushed to the margins and shadows, many of us have little understanding of what this natural response to loss and change is — and how to actually navigate our grieving.
We may turn to the messages we grew up with, the cultural conditioning around what’s acceptable or unacceptable, what we’ve seen in the media — all the while still feeling lost, overwhelmed, stuck, disoriented and terrified to feel what we feel.
This offering combines education around grief with space to explore your own journey through loss — to begin to acknowledge what’s true for you instead of the expectations and false beliefs you may be trying to meet.
Learn how grief shows up in the body, why pleasure is important in grieving, why it’s necessary to have practices that help us soften into our grief and into our own self-compassion, how nature can support us in our healing and more.
A self-guided offering, Summer Hearts includes 5 video teachings about grief, 5 videos sharing poems with journaling prompts and practices to deepen into each lesson, a downloadable digital journal, and 2 live calls on Monday, July 8 and Monday, Aug. 5, at 7:30 p.m. EST, along with bonus invitations and assignments to support you on your journey.
Payments can be made here or via Venmo @Naila-Francis or Zelle or PayPal at naila.francis@gmail.com
Sharing some of my story
I’m grateful to Len Lear, editor of the Local Life section for Chestnut Hill Local, for this interview and the chance to share some of my journey to this work and why it matters to me.
The caption on the photo did give me pause — “relentlessly cheerful” can be a heavy expectation though for most of my life, I’ve been told by many I can be counted on to “always have a smile on my face.” Walking deeply alongside grief has invited me to express more of the full range of my emotions and to wear them honestly. But this caption also made me think of a woman who approached me at the end of a workshop last year to tell me I gave her hope because I was so joyful, even when talking about grief, and that made her believe she would find joy again, too.
This has been one of my greatest lessons on my journey: that to touch and enter the depths of grief is to also deepen our capacity for joy.
An in-person death doula training in Philly area
Angie Buchanan of The Death Midwife and Earth Traditions will be coming to Media, Pa., Aug. 9-11 to offer her death midwife certification training. I studied with Angie in 2018. She was not only deeply wise and knowledgeable but warm, funny and generous — and her training was a great mix of the practical, spiritual and emotional aspects of death care, as well as an exploration of what is grief and how to both navigate it and support others who are grieving.
You can learn more about the course and sign up here.
Dear Naila, this is one of the most beautiful and profound pieces I have ever read from you. So much heart, so much wisdom, so much beauty. 🙌
“You are always stronger than what the mind believes” especially resonates today, but each line a jewel, a spell. ✨